peripheral

peripheral

I’d thought about telling her twice but hadn’t. It’s only now after sitting with just my tinnitus to keep me company that I’ve realised why. I don’t have good peripheral vision so I hadn’t seen her coming. She started pushing my wheelchair from behind. It wasn’t a steep gradient and my face blushed as I felt the added momentum. I wanted to tell her to not push me. I don’t have that much independence but I cherish what I do have. I push myself up hills that people struggle to walk. Don’t. That’s was what I wanted to say

I am sweet in person. My parents raised me well. There was something gratifying for her in helping a man in a wheelchair. It made her feel better thinking that she was helping. If I’d told her to stop I would have stolen something for her. She needs to help people. I couldn’t verbalise it at the time. I didn’t need her help. She had stolen something from me

People always misinterpret what I’m saying. Earlier in the day I’d seen a hot woman walking towards me with a big bunch of flowers smile at me so I tried to flirt. I told her that the flowers were beautiful. What do you want them, she asked with a scowl? No, I said, I was just saying they were beautiful. She looked around as if checking to find a camera. She looked back down at me but didn’t answer my question. She did not want to talk

There were three teenage girls walking in front of us. The one in the middle turned around and smiled at me. She conferred with the other two. They stopped walking and turned back to look at me. She was so sexy. I smiled and she smiled back Mae West. A young girls stare doesn’t know what it wants. Sorry, a young girls stare doesn’t know what I want. She was tall dark and beautiful. She wore shorts so short that I had seen the bottom of her bum cheeks. She could have been a model. She was dressed like a slut but I could tell she wasn’t. I was wondering how a father could let his daughter leave the house looking like that until I saw her beaming at me. I could tell that she wanted me to talk to her

I didn’t talk to her. I passed her in my wheelchair. It would be perverse. I carried on before realising that the woman who had been pushing me had stopped and was talking to her. I hadn’t felt her let go. She caught up with me and told me off. Didn’t you hear me calling you, she asked angrily? No, I said. Well I stopped them so you could have talked to her. What, I said. She was probably only sixteen years old. Why would I want to? But she liked you, she wanted to talk to you, she replied. Her liking me was not the problem

I know what it is, she said. You’re scared of sex. I thought I hadn’t heard what she said so asked her to repeat it. What, she asked, are you deaf. I told her that I was half deaf and pulled out the hearing aids to show her. She said sorry before she said it again. I had heard her. I said, no you’re wrong. I could make sparks shoot out of her arse if I was with her. I could give a piece of wood an orgasm. I’m actually scared of me

She started driving away. I miss driving so much. Not that I was ever that good a driver but I enjoyed it and it relaxed me. I’ve driven all over the world without ever holding a licence. I was very lucky for a very long time. I crashed two cars and never felt any consequences. I ended up taking the female cop on a date from the worst crash of the two. Our date was the day I crashed my car into the **** *** Golf Course. I was still drunk and still high on coke when I went into her police station and recorded a statement. I told her that I had been in shock and walked home instead of staying till the police arrived. I was in shock but I walked home instead of staying to go to jail

She hadn’t stopped smiling the entire time I’d been with her. I didn’t know where we were but knew the road we were on would take us back to Sydney. She put the indicator on. I asked her where she was going. She said, I’m going to find a quiet spot to rape you. She smiled and started turning left. I saw her smile widen. I wound the window down and stuck my head out. I cried for help twice. I saw an old man with a cane turning around before the window started closing. I shouted out that she was going to rape me. I saw him smile and give me the thumbs up as I was forced to bring my head back inside. I turned around and saw her smiling. Her finger was on a button on the driver’s side door. She had the control. I saw him still smiling in the wing mirror. He didn’t think I needed help. Only I know what I really need. I am scared of me

help

help

help

help

help

help

help

help

Andrew Stuart Buchanan

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