Thirty-something year old male requires female for companionship

I put the pen down before I used a full stop. I sat and wondered when would be the best place to tell them I was in a wheelchair? I sat and thought for two minutes while picking at a pimple on my right shoulder. I thought of all the pimples on my body and especially the stinky one on the right, halfway down (not Dominion rd) my back. I put the pen down and thought about my life ¬–__–––¬¬——-.

I could say

Well-travelled disabled man seeks female for lots of kissing and hugging.

No I couldn’t. I would get all the ugly chicks or the ones with lots of pets. What could I say? What could I say…? I sat upright and meditated before leaning into the table where I wrote in large print

Man with multiple disabilities seeks woman for friendship and possibly more?

I looked down and didn’t like the question mark or the phrase friendship. Saying the word friendship seemed desperate and I could already see the milk bottle lens glasses shining in the sun and their sick mothers calling them back home for help. I scribbled out what I had written and turned the page over. I wrote

Man under forty seeks woman. I am in a wheelchair and am unfit to work

I liked how honest I was with that but almost immediately recognised that most women would not feel comfortable with that truth so crossed it out.

Man seeks woman

Man seeks non-judgemental woman

Man seeks beautiful non-judgemental woman for relationship

No wait, what right does a brain damaged, partially paralysed and poor man have to a beautiful woman? I thought of all the hotties I had tried to chat-up who had smiled and said no so crossed it out.

I had used up the piece of paper I was writing on so looked for more. The A4 packet was empty so I went to the kitchen and looked for something to write on. I could only find one thing so ripped the back off the bran breakfast cereal. I thought about it as I was tearing and decided to fold the cardboard so the brand name was visible before I started writing. I wrote in large letters,

I need you; I want you and already love you.

I felt foolish for writing it but it was the last thing I had to write on in the house. I wondered wether to write my phone number, mobile or email address below? No, I had to say something about the wheelchair first. I would have to let them know, to avoid the embarrassment, theirs and mine.

Man in wheelchair seeks woman.

There, that’s it. That’ll have to do.

Andrew Stuart Buchanan

One thought on “MAN SEEKS WOMAN

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